Hey guys. So, it’s almost March. My last post was at the beginning of January, and I haven’t followed up. The few that do read my blog are probably wondering “what’s up?”
To be honest, I’m wondering that too. I know the blog just started in September of last year, but I’m already at a point where I’m constantly wondering… “where do I want to to take the blog? What direction do I want to go in?” and… quite frankly — it’s stressing me out more than it’s exciting me, because I don’t know.
For a while, I wasn’t inspired to write about much of anything, weirdly enough, while simultaneously wanting to do all the creative things. Something I’ve been wanting to do and trying to implement is to take things a step at a time. Trying to find balance is my biggest goal for 2020; to try and not swing too far to one end of this pendulum we call life, ya know? Hustle culture is totally toxic and is something I want let go of.
“If I’m not doing it all, I’m not doing anything of substance.” How many times have you thought that or something similar in regards to yourself and your workflow on any given day? It doesn’t feel great, does it? When it comes to our mental health and workflow, we have to collectively let go of this binary mentality. That whole “If I’m not doing this, that, and the other, then I’m a failure,” or “I’m doing so many things, but if I stop then what does that make me?”
That all or nothing mentality can be super harmful. This hustle or bust mentality is the kind of mentality that I’ve held onto, subconsciously even. Sometimes, I don’t even realize how much I’m doing it and how much it affects me on a day to day. It wasn’t until I took a break from here to realize that.
It’s weird. I get inspired so easily to do so much creatively, that when I struggle to not do all of the things or act quickly on that inspiration, my motivation disappears faster than a speeding bullet. I don’t quite know how to explain it other than to remind myself (and anyone else who may be reading this and feel similarly) that good things always take time, and a baby step in the right direction is still progress.
So, where am I going? What’s my plan? I don’t know the details, yet. But I’m fine with that. I put so much pressure on myself to put up multiple blog posts a week to the point where it wasn’t fun. I want this blog, my Youtube channel, and all my other creative outlets to be fun for me to do. I want to continue writing about things I’m passionate about: movies, bullet journaling, among so many other things. I don’t really care so much about becoming a fashion blog, because that’s not something that I’ve ever put too much thought behind beyond: “Does this particular article of clothing flatter me and is it comfortable?” It doesn’t matter to me that fashion is a pretty popular and, gasp, trendy subcategory of the blog world that seems to get more clicks… because, at the end of the day, I’m not spending my time looking at the best deals for shoes are on any given day, or what major store is having an annual, semi-annual, or whatever-else-annual sale, or what not. If that’s your thing, absolutely your prerogative. But it’s not something I truly find a passion in, therefore it probably wont be something I write about consistently. (That’s not to say I wont want to share an occasional favorites post that might include a pair of adidas leggings or something fashion-y in it.)
But, who tf knows? Maybe one day that will all change and I will find something that piques my interest in a certain field that changes it that. But that’s what’s great — I created this blog with a broad idea of what I wanted to talk about. Because as most things do, my interests change (and I’m sure yours do too).
I guess, this is my way of saying — Hey, I’m still here. I’m doing ok, despite feeling a minor blogdentity crisis. I’m not going anywhere, either. This is also my way of saying, to everyone that’s subscribed to my blog via email, who likes my posts on facebook consistently, etc. thank you for sticking around. I’ll be posting more on here, I absolutely promise!
I feel better getting this off of my chest, thank you for sticking around and I’ll see you SOON!